My last entry, October 2011, was a year and a half ago. You have no idea what can happen in 18 months...

In December 2011, I smashed up my car pretty bad. We had to pay to get it out of the impound, and to get it fixed. Then in March, someone rear-ended me and totaled the car we had just paid to fix. In April, someone hit me in the rental car I was driving. My husband used the insurance money to buy another 4-door car...a standard, which I don't know how to use. So my husband got that one and I got his 1994 pickup with a bench seat. In May, my husband and I decided to host a foreign exchange student for the 2012-2013 school year. That was also when I was approved for financial aid for the summer 2012 semester to get my last required credits. In June, I started my final college semester. That was also the month that my life changed forever: my poor little stepson lost his mom quickly and unexpectedly to a botched lap surgery. I became a full-time mom to a 10 year old overnight at the age of 23. Keep in mind, I'm still driving the tiny truck, now with a kid in tow, while my husband drives a 5-person vehicle alone. In July, I finished the very last credit I needed for college graduation. In August, our Swedish exchange student arrived, and she and my stepson started school in town (my first year as a "school mom" and I had one in 4th and one in 11th!). In September, my husband and I celebrated our first anniversary right around when I received a bill for $2000 from my university, as my approved financial aid for summer couldn't actually be applied to summer semesters (I know, right?). Since then, life has been coming at me non-stop. My December graduation was postponed, since I didn't have the 2 grand to pony up. My stepson's grades were absolutely abysmal, and while everyone liked to blame his traumatic circumstances, it was clear to me and his teacher he simply wasn't trying. Our exchange student chose to leave us for another family because she had the audacity to demand (I'm not kidding with that word) my husband to buy her another Diet Coke when he poured about 5oz. out of a 2 liter bottle she had paid for (as if he didn't pay for the house she slept in, the food she ate, the car and the gas that I drove her around in). My stepson started having trouble seeing the board in class, that is when he stopped misbehaving and bothered looking at the board. Then he started getting toothaches really bad. This was right after the health insurance he had with his mom expired. Speaking of health insurance, my husband's ulcers or gastritis or acid reflux or whatever it is has been acting up, and his job doesn't offer insurance. Add to this the fact that I STILL don't have the degree that I finished earning 9 months ago and am now raising a 10 year old, and you get me still working part time with night and weekend hours.

Now, I'm not saying my life sucks. I know that there people that don't have any family or a home or any job or a nearby support system. But I am saying that my little family is less than 2 years old. Think about that. I said "I do" 20 months ago. Repeating "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" will only get you so far. I'm tired. I'm a 23-year-old non-college-graduate full-time mom part-time off-hour board op and I'm tired. Life needs to cut me a break soon, or at least my guys. My husband works full-time in a career that he just kind of bumped into in his early twenties. Definitely not a "life calling" or even close to being enjoyable, but he gets up every morning before the sun is out so he can support his little boy and useless wife. My stepson lost his mom at nine years old. He lost his mom, had to move out of his stepdad's (who had been his "daily dad" since he was 3 or 4), and had to move in with his dad an hour away to attend his 4th school in 5 years.

I have been tested beyond anything I would have ever expected, and that's just in the last year. And while I like knowing that I was strong enough to handle all that, and stronger now because of it...I doubt I can handle much more. I'm not fun anymore. I'm not happy anymore. I'm a serious, cranky, unpleasant nag of a human being, an empty shell of the ridiculous and vibrant person I remember being. Maybe I'll feel better getting this off my chest, even if no one ever even reads this. I can only hope.

So for our Halloween party Saturday night, I went as an evil rag doll (my future sister-in-law went as the good doll). Pics later tonight. My husband went as a zombie and Lindsey ad I did some awesome makeup on him. Tonight, I don't get out of class until 6 and Trick-or-Treating in our parish is from 6-8 so I probably won't be passing out any candy or anything. Plus we don't have Bryson, so I'm not GOING ToT either. Oh well. Might still dress up. Ta!

We got a house. It's a tiny 2bd/1ba, but it's big enough for our family. We're getting another puppy, a Dorkie we're most likely going to name Sookie. I'm back working at the radio station as a board op on weekends. Everything was going really well...until my car decided to stick me the finger. Hoping we get it fixed soon because we're headed to Houston this weekend for UFC 136 and We can't all fit in the little 'yota pickup. We're getting a lot of hand-me0down furniture from Scott's cousin, who is moving and buying mostly new stuff. So we've gotten into a pretty good rhythm.

And Scott has off today and tomorrow, so after this class today, we the next 36 hours to hang out!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I'm hyperventalating!!! The bachelorette party is in Baton Rouge on Saturday. We're hitting Tsunami's for sushi, then a bar for drinking, then the hotel shares a parking lot with the bar so no driving...which means we're all gonna be wasted. lol

I just ordered the chair delivery and picked up my engagement ring from the jewelers...it's all sparkly again!!

Now I'm off to shop for bachelorette goodies with my future sister-in-law and my bff. Eeeeek!!

Less than 50 days until the wedding and less than 3 weeks until Hope's wedding. I've never walked in a wedding before and I must say it's kinda cool that my first time I'm serving as maid of honor for my best friend and exactly 4 weeks before my own.

Anyway...this is the big exciting thing...everyone is wearing chucks to my wedding!! That's right!! The groom and ring bearer are wearing white with their white tuxes. The groomsmen are wearing black with their black tuxes. The maids are wearing navy lo-tops with their navy dresses. And the flower girl and I are also wearing blue oxfords under our big frou frou white skirts! I'm so excited!!

Some of the maids aren't exactly thrilled, and that sucks. It's mostly why I didn't tell them to get them from the beginning (i said choose any silver shoes). But this will look so much cooler. My brother is wearing black ones as a reader, my aunts said they're wearing them for the hell of it, some of my fiance's family are wearing them for fun. It's gonna be awesome!

Bought my BEAUTIFUL wedding gown...booked the bakery and reception hall...almost finished the invitations...

So I'm currently up to my eyeballs in wedding details!!

As I just posted, I'm trying out how I could make my own cake toppers. I love the way the round headed buggers look, but everyone charges so much for them! So ef you, Imma make my own!

We finally got the okay from Scott's family to rent the reception hall, and now I just have to pray my mom can get the deposit in cash to me before our day gets booked.

I finished all the Save-The-Dates, but now I gotta mail 'em! lol I'll get around to it one day!!

I chose the bridesmaid dresses...but can't decide on my own! My parents have pretty much given me freedom of budget (because they know I'm knot psychotic), but I just don't know. And Scott refuses to help me pick one. Traditionalist scum. :-P

I thought I had chosen my florist, but then I found another one that will end up costing less than HALF what the original place would, so I'm going with them. Not that I'm paying for any of it but geez.

Oh, and here's the kicker...Scott decided to add another groomsman and bridesmaid. Bringing the total to six. Each. Not including the kids. Oy vey.

So that's basically what my life is right now. Tomorrow is my older brother's and my best friend's 24th birthdays. Friday is my stepson-to-be's 8th birthday. Peace, love, and puppies!

Ah, this is a doozy...I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!

My wonderful boyfriend of a year and a half proposed almost two months ago. The date is set for September 10, 2011. ((Get it? -> 9-10-11)) So now I'm busybusybusy planning all that, but I'm having a blast with it because it'll be a life-altering day. Not only will I be marrying my love, but I will also become the stepmother to a beautiful little boy named Bryson.

Yay!!

(Also I'm graduating next May! go me!!)

Wow. I'd almost forgotten what happy felt like! Hahaha, just kidding. But I am doing much better as of late.

sometimes life just won't stop coming at you

I have work in an hour, so I thought I'd finally finally FINALLY update something on here. Here's a little about me:

My name is Tara Celeste, you can call me either.
I am 19 years old.
I live in Louisiana.
We drive each other nuts sometimes, but we've made it through a lot.
I have an awesome sister.
She's always got my back.
I attend university where I'm a junior.
I don't do clubs and such.
I left that crap in high school.
I live in an apartment with my older brother.
I work in a gift shop.
I love working there and can't foresee quitting anytime soon.
I try to keep a level head.
I'm usually pretty laid back.
It takes a lot to make me break down.
My life is full of people I love, and I'm so thankful for that.
I don't allow myself regrets.

"Don't be sad it's over. Be glad that it happened you don't have to deal with it anymore."

...got wet. It was in my bag when I went swimming. I forgot that it was in there and put my wet suit and towel on it. The ink messed up all over the top of every page. I'm ever so miserable about it.

Woot woot! I'm finally XVIII!

My birthday was amazing. Colin got me The Godfather on DVD. I had never seen it before, so we watched it last night. Missed a lot of it cuz the phone kept ringing with birthday calls, but I loved what I saw. Imma watch it again when I have a free block of time NOT to be interrupted. ~Jen-fuh got me The Boondock Saints. Finally! I have a legal copy! lol And me parental units got me an iPod docking stereo. This thing is seriously off the chain. Love, love, love it. Even has an alarm clock, God knows I needed a new one. (My old one has a broken forward button, meaning if I wanted to go forward one minute, I had to go back 23 hours and 59 minutes to get to it.) Now if I could just figure out what to do with my old five-disc stereo that I got for Christmas four years ago...

In short, all is well.

I have my last two finals tomorrow. Spanish and poli sci, my two favourite classes, so I think I'll do okay. After that, Collie's making me a belated birthday dinner (Indian dishes made with CHICKEN). Then Saturday holds a night of fun at Fawn's for a movie and pool time.

Whoever said finals week sucks?

Oh, speaking of sucks, I s'pose I should say that bad stuff, too. I used to get chronic nosebleeds, but they went away for several months. Well, they're back. Not as bad, though. I bashed my knee at the pool yesterday, so I've got this super awesome bruise to match the searing pains. Um... Oh! I walked into a door frame earlier today. Just totally missed the opening. No lasting wounds except for my pride. And I think I bombed my stat final. But that's about it.

turning 18 in a couple of days. wednesday, to be exact. dunno what i'm gonna do wif myself. s'pose i ought to do something to remember the occasion.

cow-tipping, anyone?

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the cuteness of the day:
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MySpace: NerdApple
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Facebook: Tara Johnson
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YouTube: TCJ2730
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Gaia: Nerd Apple
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Gunbound: NerdApple
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Wow. Okay. So Jennifer's van, Moby, broke down the day before yesterday. She got it fixed. Well, not really.

Jennifer, Jessica, Megan, Ryan, and I went to the 11:59 showing of Dead Man's Chest tonight. Fine. I had been awake since 8am, and I'm a person that likes, nay, loves to sleep. So I pop a No Doz to stay awake. Then I ate a few Twizzlers and some Pocky and washed it down with a bottled frappe. That's fine, too. After the movie, cuz Jen was gonna stay at my house, Megan dropped us off at Jen's grandmother's house to get Moby so Jennifer could drive at 7am to go babysit. All this, totally fine. Except... Moby's gas pedal wasn't working too well. So I told Jen-Fuh, "Get to your house, cuz it's closer, and we'll take your mom's car." Well, we only made it to Academy. 3am, bugger. So I called Megan to come get us. Her phone had died. I lefte her a message, but she didn't get it until after she got home. So Jennifer tried to call Chris, but he was asleep. So finally I called my favorite insomniac, Colin, and he came and saved the day, er, night. Morning. Whatever it was.

After all this, Jessica took Jen's parking spot, Ryan was still threatening suicide to get away from me, Jennifer stayed at her house for the rest of the night (the whole 2 1/2 hours of it), and Moby slept in the Academy parking lot, and I didn't fall alseep until 5am.

And Jennifer said we never had adventures...

I woke up at 7am. My mom lost her purse with her $1000 in Euros, but she got it back. Jennifer's van broke down. My mom and Walker went to Texas for the night. I'm alone. Mom and Megan leave for London on Saturday for a week. The week after next I have orientation. Jennifer's babysitting every week day in July. I'm severely bored.

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of it. I got my college acceptance letter last week. That put me into "it's really gonna happen" mode, and then yesterday my orientation crap came in the mail. So now I have to go sign up for honors orientation so I can sign up for my classes. And of course, I need my mommy there because I'm a minor and have NO IDEA what I'm doing. My advisor's really nice, though. She insists on calling herself "the guru".

My dad got offered a new job in Washington and if he takes it, my parents might have to leave me behind. If that happens, I want something to stay behind with me. So I've been buying books like crazy. If I have to finish raising myself, I want a library. ^^

Plus, I'm trying to work out a few recipes. I can't cook to save my life, but I can bake with the best of them. I already have my perfect cookie recipe, now I'm trying for my own version of Applebee's Apple ChimiCheesecake. I made the cheesecake yesterday with Jen-Fuh, and mnaged to save half from my family.

There's some other stuff going on, but it's all good, better, best, so I don't want to put it in here for fear of appearing to complain about it.

I'm starting a new, crudely drawn comic about myself called Cynic vs. Happiness. It's bascially the stories of what my alter egoes talk about, or more accurately, argue about. Cynic always gets the better of Happiness, which explains a lot about my personality. I've got two comics already done that are ready to be scanned. And I think I'm gonna draw another Turkey Bob comic. I lurves mah TB!